yamanai ame da neeee

omg
Monday, November 23, 2009

every sem finals feel like alvls.
someone up above please see my through this.

5:07 PM

Saturday, November 14, 2009

shld i apply for residence in school...............

11:29 PM

thinking about the wrong things.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009

today when i was coming home... i was thinking. how far apart is being lonely and being alone?
its different for everyone i guess.
i remember those ironic times when i'm surrounded by people in a crowded room and felt so extremely lonely, and times when i was walking along the streets alone feeling this peaceful solitude, or when i woke up earlier than everyone else at east coast and went to take a walk as the sun was rising..

i remember being in japan... unfamiliar faces and speech.. was i feeling lonely then? or was it solitude? i always tell my friend (who complains alot about being lonely when she's alone) that, you're not LONELY, you're ALONE. its different.
now i know, she WAS lonely. she was alone and lonely, simply because she thinks she was.
to me, at that time, she can't be feeling lonely so easily?
but now i know, today i've grown abit more.. i shall remind myself, everyday, to try to live by my own standards, just as everyone lives by theirs.

my experience tells me this: the more people there are around, the more lonely i feel.

MEANWHILE,
i got back bio omg. the mean is 53/100
and i still got lower than that... this is one instance where we need to live by the standards of others because if not you will just fall behinddddddd ):

9:17 PM

sometimes, i get so lost in myself that i start to believe it never happened.
i have no idea. theres so many questions...
sometimes i feel i should just not say a thing and let people get on with their lives, because its not like what i say matters to anyone in the end. they hear me but i don't know if they actually care about the contents. its like, you just need to know theres someone there who's willing to talk about you, with you.

and then theres generalisation. such a evil thing. assumptions, sweeping judgements... they are all a product of this rotten society............

sometimes i think i like all these jap idols so much simply because they're so far away from my reality.

2:04 AM

Monday, November 09, 2009

theres nothing happening in my life right now.
just need to get through the paperssss.
assgs are mostly over (finally) and exams will be over soon (in a month) and i'll be free to die on the mountains in malaysia, so i hope everything goes fine.
just got the guitar from wg and the string snapped alr. hahaha got to go get it changeddd and i'm so determined to pick up smth during the hols, myself. so the guitar it shall be.
just now i alr taught myself doe a deer. HAHA my finger hurts nowwww.

thurs is jap oral exam. i'm damn scared, thinking abt it makes me wanna pee my pants ):

1:14 AM

puzzled.
Sunday, November 01, 2009

if God is in all of us,
when one day, we finally find ourselves, will we, then, find God?
or do we have to find God first to find ourselves?

most people never find themselves.. throughout their whole lives.
but they claim to have found God. have they really?

Dan Brown's really got me thinking..

2:04 AM